Chapter One

From Wity Fool’s perspective

It was a fine day in Runescape. The birds were singing, the bees were buzzing from flower to flower, and the unicorns were out grazing. Also, the goblins were bickering over armor color, HAM wanted more monsters slain, and thousands of adventures embarked on perilous quests to discover lost treasure, gain experience, and save harassed people from monsters. All in all, a normal day in the world of the Rune.

But the Prince Ali was missing. Osman had hired Wity fool to rescue him from the evil clutches of the Lady Keli. Residing in a jail near the small village of Draynor, she planned to ransom him back to Al-Kharid at a hefty sum. Not on Wity Fool’s watch! He came, armed with a mithral sword, full iron plate (minus helm, he had on a mithral medium), and bearing a disguise for the prince, a key to the cell, and beer to incapacitate the door guard. However, the regular guards may not be strong, but attack in large packs. Wity Fool found he couldn’t fight them effectively, but was able to hold them off by closing and jamming the door to the jail shut as he tied up Lady Keli without much resistance. By the time he had stuffed her in a cupboard, however, the door was splintering under the heavy blows the guards were raining down on it with their maces. Thinking quickly, Wity Fool unlocked the cell, slipped inside, and twisted the key in the lock to securely shut them in. As he was reassuring the cowering Prince Ali, the door burst in. Pulling out his bow, Wity Fool nocked a arrow to his string, sighted along the ashen shaft, and let fly. The mithral head went right through a loop in the guard’s chain mail armor, and the guard staggered and went down. That left five more, and, way too late to fix it, Wity fool saw an error in his plan as a guard unlocked the cell-with another key! Now that he knew it, he saw that all the guards carried keys on their belts.

Just as the lead one was bout to swing his steel-headed weapon, a yell “Fire Strike!” was heard, and the guard burst into flames. Almost at the same time, a thin, pale blue blade sprouted out of the chest of a guard in back. As he fell, a mighty warrior in green plate mail armor and a dark blue helm was revealed. Too shocked to react, two more guards were cleaved down by the blade. His warrior reflexes kicking in, Wity Fool heavily smote the guard in front of him. The last two guards were no match for the strange fighter in green, and were promptly decapitated. Speaking for the first time, the warrior in green said, “Now let us escape this foul place. Come, we must make haste while the guards outside are off their guard! Bring the prince, we must go! Oh, by the way, I’m Tahu 1000. And you are?” “Wity Fool, by name and nature. Let’s go!” As they ran out the door, Wity fool spotted more guards coming from a nearby tower. Yelling something that the profanity censor wouldn’t let through, he continued, “More! I’m sick of guards!” “We can’t take that many, not with the prince here! And Lady Keli is out of the cupboard, judging by the angry yells coming from the jail. To Draynor Village with utmost speed!”

When they reached the small town, Tahu 1000 withdrew some food, namely trout. “Going training?” asked Wity Fool (the prince had gone back to Al-Kharid). “Yup. Want to come with?” “Sure, but can you give me some trout? I’m out.” “Ok, I’ve got over a thousand of ‘em. Been fishing them for the past month or so.” So they went away to the Varrok-Edgeville dungeon. Tahu 1000 went away to the crowed hill giant arena, while Wity Fool trained on zombies nearby. Both trying to gain spoils and experience from the monsters.

Chapter Two

Wham! The giant’s large club thunked against Tahu 1000’s large black shield. Quick as a scorpion’s sting, the mighty fighter retaliated on the large foe. Slashing a line of blood across the knee of the giant, he withheld his shield again to deflect another attack. Gritting his teeth at the awesome force of the blow, he again smite the giant in the stomach. The giant let out an unearthly howl, and crumpled to the ground. Retrieving a shining steel longsword and a rather large group of bones, Tahu checked the contents of his pack. “Drat! No more room in my pack! I’ll go see how Wity Fool is doing,” he muttered to himself. Going up past the ladder, he spied his friend, running away from a zombie. But no ordinary zombie! It was an enormously strong one, one that had risen from the depths of the earth when Wity Fool had buried some bones. Drawing his mighty runite longsword, Tahu 1000 ran up and attacked the rotting undead horror. Slicing its arm off with one swipe, he followed through with a mighty stab right into the zombie’s brain. “What was that?!” questioned Wity Fool. “That was one of the zombie minions. Their power is dependant on that of those who make them come, that’s why I could defeat it where you couldn’t. Let me guess: you buried a bone and it crawled out of the earth.” “How’d you know?” “It’s a random event. See, that person over there has one. I’ll go help them out, too.” And go help he did; within moments, another zombie had collapsed on the ground. Helping the stricken mage to her feet, Tahu 1000 said, “I thought I told you to stay away from hill giants until you can kill them! What are you doing here?” “Trying to kill them from behind a table, didn’t you see?” “And have another giant attack you. I see that you should go back to barbarian village.” “But I wanna come with you!” the mage wined. “Fine, but stay behind us unless there are monsters behind us; then you go to the side.” To Wity Fool, who had been lost this whole time, Tahu 1000 explained, “This is my sister, Gumbie 100. She’s been playing for about a month now.” “And have a better magic level that both of you!” “I’m not so sure about that, I’m level 27 magic.” “Oh, I’m just level 23.” Feeling left out, Wity Fool said, “I just train fighting, but I’m still level 12 mage.” “Anyway, I’m all full. Let’s go back to Varrok. Then I need to catch up on my runecrafting-I owe Bulbasaur1 an assortment of runes soon.” “Sure, I’m also done training.” Wity Fool agreed. “I hope the general store has open space in its stock, I have many spoils to sell.”

Chapter 3

This takes place several months later, when all of the clan members in The Golden Chinchillas had reached epic strength. Tahu, Wity Fool, and new members Chocolarico, Skilful Kil, and Nerdlinger1 were all powerful fighters not to be reckoned with, Gumbie was the resident mage, and Colin 1st was a jack of all trades ranger. Tahu supplied most of the party food, as his fishing was his strong point. He could also cook up many delightful meals, and make custom orders of runes for others. Wity Fool was a master smith, miner, and fletcher, while Skilful Kil was the rich item supplier. Chocolarico was pure fighting machine, with good archery skills and excellent prowess with a sword. All of the fighters had runite plate, except for a dragon medium helm. All wielded varying weapons, but all of those were dragon metal. Also, Tahu, Chocolarico, Skilful Kil, and Wity Fool all had dragon shields, while Nerdlinger1 had runite kite shields. Colin had full black dragon, with magic longbow and runite arrows. However, the party wanted one more item for all-dragon chainmail. This rare item could only be obtained from the legendary Kalaphite Queen…

“So the Kalaphite lair is in the desert?!? I thought we had explored all of it already!” Exclaimed Tahu. “Then it must be that cave I only got halfway into before being forced out by rather large insects.” Said Wity Fool sheepishly. “Hasn’t anyone told you to carry bug repellant?” questioned Gumbie. “They only sell it in small bottles” replied Skilful Kil in defense of Wity Fool. “I was with him, and you would need 50 or more bottles per bug!” “Well, I say we just smash them” retorted Chocolarico. “Enough!” shouted Tahu. “Arguing gets us nowhere. We need a plan. And no, not a whole lot of bug spray.” At this, Gumbie looked disappointed. “I like Chocolarico’s plan, but we need to figure out how to smash them. I say, since it’s a multi-way arena, we use a formation or something that works like one, even if it doesn’t look like one.” “So we go to the cave?” asked Wity Fool, incredulously. “I don’t like giant bugs!” “So squash them!” Yelled Chocolarico. “Anyway, we’re going. Go to the bank, and meet at Shantay Pass at 0600 sharp! We need all the time we can get.” Finished Tahu.

“Everyone’s here!” announced Chocolarico. “Okay, then.” said Tahu. “All non-essential items into the bank chest, and let’s move out! And don’t forget canteens, it’s really dry and hot out there.” At 0601, they went through the pillars marking the border between safety and danger, adventure, and treasure. Our heroes where mainly after treasure, but they would undoubtedly find both.

“That looks like a giant mouth! Are you sure it’s safe to go in?” Asked Colin- he wasn’t very brave, and disliked caves. “No, but when do we care if it’s safe? Let’s go!” was Tahu’s answer. As they trudged into the cave, they couldn’t quite shake the feeling something hostile was watching their every step. Their feeling came to being when out of the dark, a glint of chitin armor was seen, accompanied by a chittering sound. Tahu, in the front, threw out a hand to stop and silence the party, waiting until the Kalaphite had moved to guard more of the tunnel. Then Gumbie piped up, “was that the queen?” “No”, replied Wity Fool, “that was a worker. Female mindless drones. The queen it three times their size-so I’m told.” “I’d say closer to five times”, Said Tahu, calmly. Then more panicked for obvious reasons, “There she is!” “Battle Stations!” roared Chocolarico, but the clan needed no further prompt. The mage Gumbie had already gone to the back, Colin pulled out his hand-made assault had no effect on the might crawling horror. However, the mighty dragon armory did, and soon the Kalaphite ruler was under heavy bombardment. Even though he received food at a constant rate, Wity Fool was slipping lower and lower on the health scale. Finally, just as Tahu had thrown a lobster to him, the queen smite Wity Fool a mighty blow that knocked him down, never to get up. The lobster landed on empty armor as Wity Fool’s body disappeared. Stunned at the loss of their friend, Tahu and Skilful Kil struck the monstrosity that had killed their friend with mighty vigor, each blow equal to those the monster had rained apon poor adventurers that had met death under its claws. Driven back by the onslaught, the monster seemed to transform into a smaller, winged beast. As it took off, Gumbie and Colin pounded it with spells and arrows. This time, it worked. As the two shot death at the foul monstrosity, Tahu pulled out a crossbow to counter the strafing horror, and Skilful Kil and Chocolarico added their projectiles to the mix. Faced with a fatal hail of arrows, the beast fell from the sky, but was dead before it hit the ground.

It was over. The Kalaphite Queen lay dead, slain in midair and crushed by the fall. Yet one question lingered in the minds of all; where was the mighty dragon chain? Spotting a reddish glint in a pile of castings, Skilful Kil started to dig with his hands. Seeing this, the other surviving members gathered around as he pulled out a dragon chainmail. Looking through the pile, the rest soon claimed a chainmail for themselves. Tahu gathered one for Wity Fool as well, and gathered the remains of the fallen warrior. While the rest of the group were drunk with joy and victory, Tahu and Skilful Kil pondered the armor, and what it had cost them.

Back in Varrok, the group celebrated with a party at the Blue Moon inn. Even the famed Jaron99 was there, decked out in full Dragon glory, to congratulate the group on their victory. Even the rest of the Zamorak’s Death clan was there, and the invisible spirits of Wity Fool and Shadow watched over them, proud. During the funeral, Wity Fool’s equipment was laid into a grave in the wilderness, alongside Shadow’s. In the grave was all of the warrior’s armor, and the chainmail that would have been his had he survived.